The gift of self-compassion

Here is how I want to challenge you today. Whenever the inner critical voice in your head goes overboard, shaming, nit-picking, and fault finding in your mind: STOP, BREATH and OBSERVE. The goal is to start noticing patterns of self-criticism and allow the inner nurturer to become bigger and more powerful than the inner critic.

Our inner critic is a perfectly normal part of us and has its role in our lives, but our inner nurturer is also normal and sometimes dimmed by the inner critic’s power. We can definitely reverse that. As you start observing those two “voices” and labeling them, you can start slowly introducing self-compassion to your life. 

Some messages our inner critic may have for us:

“That’s no big deal, anyone could have done that”

“You’re so stupid”

“Why do you have to be so dumb?’

“You should be ashamed of yourself” 

“You’re always getting it wrong”

“You always fail”

Here are some ways to speak kindly and give power to your inner nurturer:

“Wow, I did well in the exam. Even though many other people did well too”

“ I hear my inner critic telling me “I’m stupid”, but that’s not helpful. I am pretty smart”

“ I am having some difficulties with this task, but I am learning and improving.”

“I am human and make mistakes, this is part of being alive”

“There is no way to getting it right always, specially when I am only human”

“ I have succeed many times before in your life (name them_____)”

“ I am doing the best I can with the resources I have available now.”

So, my dear friend, when the inner critic gets too powerful or life gets challenging, call on the inner loving and nurturing voice in your head. 

You are the most important person in your life and you deserve to be spoken kindly and respectfully.