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How to Cope With Anxiety by Listening to Your Anxious Parts

Anxiety as a Protective Part

Anxiety often feels overwhelming, but it’s not our enemy. In Internal Family Systems (IFS), anxious thoughts and feelings are seen as protective parts. These parts may try to control outcomes, predict the future, or prepare us for the worst. Beneath their intensity, they carry a loving intention: to keep us safe.

What Anxiety Feels Like

When my anxious part shows up, I usually notice it in my body first. My stomach aches or feels tight. Then the thoughts follow:

  • Wanting to control every outcome
  • Needing certainty about the future
  • Expecting worst-case scenarios
  • Believing even irrational thoughts

Although these experiences are uncomfortable, I remind myself: this part is trying to protect me.

Coping Strategies for Anxiety

Instead of pushing anxiety away, I’ve learned to meet it with compassion and practical tools. Here are a few that help:

  • Breathing deeply and paying attention to where anxiety sits in my body
  • Challenging anxious thoughts (a helpful technique from CBT)
  • Grounding with reminders like: “I am safe.”
  • Acknowledging the fear behind anxiety and validating its protective role
  • Asking for space so I can move forward more clearly
  • Practicing gratitude toward my anxious part for trying to keep me safe

Why Compassion Matters

From an inner-child perspective, anxious parts often formed early in life, when vigilance and control were necessary for survival. By listening and responding kindly, we not only calm our nervous system but also begin to heal those younger parts of ourselves that still carry fear.

Growing Beyond Anxiety

Coping with anxiety doesn’t mean silencing it—it means relating to it differently. We can thank our anxious parts for protecting us, while also choosing healthier ways to respond. This balance allows us to live with more presence, trust, and freedom.

A Gentle Invitation

Next time you feel anxiety in your body or mind, pause and listen. Breathe. Offer compassion to the part of you that is afraid. And gently remind yourself: I am safe now.

✨ What helps you cope when your anxious part shows up? I’d love to hear in the comments.